Saturday, November 10, 2007

I Guess Thats Why They Call It The Blues

So, The Blackhawks gave away a hat ... uh, yeah

Friday, November 2, 2007

Behold The Wonders of the World Wide Web!!

Sadly, you knew this was coming ... GodTube, the Christian Right's response to YouTube is up and running! Here is their number one clip: Baby Got Book!

Something tells me this didn't come from above the Mason-Dixon Line.

MSNBC feels so badly about the death of this police officer, they aren't making any jokes about where he was shot, nope, not a one. They don't even mention it in the headline. Oh Wait, they do!

If you are driving in St. Louis this weekend, naturally keep an eye out for our famous rogue motorcyle gangs. Last weekend they were up to their old tricks, "circling cars and kicking vehicles" check out the 911 call!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Be Afraid, Be Very Effing Afraid

I honor of All Hallow's Eve, I figured I would try to give you something scary today. And who else to scare your pants off then the wonderful ladies of Ohio St. University circa 1987. Watch in horror as they crimp their bangs, gasp as they dance in neon pink sweatshirts with "hanging woven belts", and try not to fall out of your chair as they tight-roll their jeans:

A Big Thank you to The M Zone for this gem of a clip, and check their site out if you are into College Football.

Friday, October 26, 2007

What Will Those PR Geniuses Think of Next?

The PR boys over at Blackwater are betting that if they change their logo a little bit, people will forget all about the little issues they have had over in Iraq and I suppose embrace the company. And you know what? I think they are on to something.

I love how they changed their color from actual "blood flowing in the streets red" to more "blood being splattered over innocent civilians" red. And the claw, it has gone from a full claw ready to pounce at a moment's notice to a claw missing a chunk in it's foot, so I suppose that means it's not the claw of a violent mountain cat, more a friendly mountain cat that is just looking for a pet. Finally, they got rid of the "Old West" style font of Blackwater on top, which I guess was a good idea, because when your employees are being accused of running wild in Iraq in kind of a law-less Dodge City kind of way, you should eliminate any and all reminders of that era in American History. Well, that is what I noticed, but as the article points out, these guys are working on a whole 'nother symbolic level.

Here is the article from the New York Times, My favorite quote is:

“The old logo suggests that they’re targeting people. The new logo is a more ambiguous, more safe corporate logo.”

Harold Goodman is Not Having the Best Week Ever!

When you get elected mayor of a town, albeit a small speed trap like St. George, MO, common sense would indicate you would put away the pot and child porn at least until you are out of office. Well, maybe you bust it out the last couple months when that "Mayoritis" kicks in, but that's another issue for another time.

Not Harold Goodman! This guy does not care if he is still collecting a paycheck or not, he is going to look at child porn while blazing up a joint on the government dole, hell, he probably even kicks a few dogs down there in St. George for good measure!

Here are the details from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch

I love the visual of a stunned citizenry just sitting on folding chairs while the meeting moved on to issues of "speed bumps and parking stickers." One genius at the meeting even commented,
"Maybe more attention needs to be paid to city employees and officials." Maybe she should run!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Top Countdown Shows Too Hot for TV

Lately, it seems when you turn on the television, you can't flip the channels for a few minutes without running into a bad countdown show. I would have to say some of the worst I have come across are CMT's 20 Best City Songs (which I actually watched for a few minutes before they lost me with a tease of a song after the commercial break about Abilene, Texas) and E!'s 101 Juiciest Hollywood Hookups. I was actually sent an e-mail of some countdown shows that were rejected.

Here are the Top 9 Hottest Countdown Shows that apparently didn't make the cut, in no order:

9. C-SPAN Presents the 20 Widest Stances in Washington D.C. History

8. ESPN's Top 50 Cliches and Catchphrases We Have Ruined Hosted by Dick Vitale & Stuart Scott and presented in HD by Budweiser, the King of Beers, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry now available on DVD!

7. The Travel Channel presents 10 All-Time Biggest Payouts We Have Received From The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Bureau for constantly airing shows touting Las Vegas.

6. MTV Presents the 9 Videos We Actually Played in 2007 hosted by Some Dumb Blond Girl From Either Newport Harbor, The Hills, or Laguna Beach.

5. Bravo Proudly Presents 10 More Shows That Will Scare Rednecks Away From Our Network

4. VH1 Presents The Top 15 Losers, Has-Beens, Re-Treads, and Former Crack Addicts That We Have Lined Up For Their Own Show Next Fall!

3. The Big Ten Network Presents the 20 Loudest Laughs We Received from Cable & Satellite Executives When We Told Them Our Fees & Our Desire to be on Basic Channel Lineups!

2. Lifetime Presents the top 10 Most Courageous Domestic Abuse Victims

1. Spike TV Presents the Top 100 Domestic Abuse Victims Who Had It Coming (Especially On Game Day When My Team Loses And I Have Had A Few Cold Ones With The Boys, Aww Come Back Baby! Where Are You Going to Go? Your Mom's? Ha! I'll Hunt You Down Over There!)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

BROKE NEWS 10/18/07

Nearly A Dozen Girls Not Dressing Like Sluts This Halloween

ST. LOUIS (SP) - A year after 100% of girls in St. Louis dressed in slutty costumes, reports indicate that nearly a dozen girls will not be dressing slutty this Halloween. The October surprise has sent shock waves through the male community, and threatens to return the holiday to it's intended purpose.

A visibly shaken Clayton man choked back tears at happy hour Monday as he commented on the situation, "I just didn't see this coming, for years now I have been getting used to seeing sexy maids, sexy schoolgirls, and sexy flappers roaming the bars on Halloween, hell, last year I even saw a sexy Tony LaRussa!"

The nearly twelve girls are apparently considering dressing in a costume that is either scary or humorous. The nearly twelve girls were contacted for this story, but declined comment.

Bates Hackley, the owner of Costumes 'N Things in Chesterfield expressed optimism that the nearly twelve girls who are considering not dressing as sluts would change their minds before the end of the month. "Why would they not want the attention? Why would they not want the ego boost?" he asked. Despite the news, Hackley said that business has been brisk at his suburban store. "Some of the top sellers this year have been the sexy Imo's Driver, the sexy Highway 40 Construction Worker, and the sexy Karen Foss, So the man who is looking to fill up his wack-off slide show should still have many options."

Despite the shocking news, men everywhere should still be able to ogle well over 99% of girls dressing up this Halloween.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

If Loving the NHL is Wrong, I Don't Want to be Right!

Can the NHL in the U.S. be saved? No, It cannot. You know why? Because it does not need to be saved my friend!

As a life long hockey fan based in St. Louis I am here to tell you that hockey is fully alive and doing well here in the U.S. and to plead to the casual fan to not save my sport, I don't think I could handle it. I fell in love with the sport at an early age, and have been faithful to it all these years without you, please do not rain on my Stanley cup parade. Nothing gets my hockey pants in a bunch more than when I hear someone say "well, what the NHL needs to do to get the casual fan is this ...", or "what channel is the NHL on again, cause I can't find it?" or the classic "why is there a team in Columbus or Tampa Bay?".

The NHL is doing just fine, thank you. I love the fact that my sport plays under the radar of most Tom, Dick, and Harries in the United States. I don't have to worry about being forced into a fantasy hockey league at work just to "be one of the guys" and have something to talk about with my boss besides "hitting the numbers" or how the bosses new weasel grand kid is doing. I don't have to worry about going down to the Scottrade Center and having to wade through mobs of dumb 20-something girls wearing blues sweaters who are just at the game for the social scene, they are all down the street at the Cardinals games 81 nights a year. I don't have to worry about a greased mullet man talking about my sport on ESPN all the time, oh wait, never mind on that one.

The NHL suffered through a lockout, and if one more person calls it a strike I may jump off the upper deck at Scottrade during the next game (consider yourself warned section 132), and came back from that lockout with even stronger attendance than before the lockout! That just shows the passion for the game. Hockey fans are some of the most passionate out there. I think we get that from the players. Hockey players will sacrifice their bodies on a level that no other athlete will (unless you count Mike Vick's dogs, but let's not go there). To win the Stanley cup, and have your name etched on that chalice, is an honor unequaled. Sure, that baseball trophy is shiny with all those little flags on it, but it can't hold a candle to the cup, and you know this! Brett Hull scored his cup-winning goal on a torn groin in '99, a hockey player will get cut during a game, go in to the locker room and get stitched up and be back for the third period. It really cracked me up when the media made a big deal about Curt Schilling pitched with a bloody sock. The sad part is, that is probably about as courageous a baseball player would get. Don't even get me started on blocking shots!

So, the NHL is currently on the VS. network and the ratings are really, really low. Is that how the quality of a show is calculated? the ratings? In the last few years I know shows like Desperate Housewives, American Idol, and Dancing with the Stars have been near the top of the ratings game in the U.S. So, are those the best shows out there? uh, no. At the movies, usually the best picture winners are not the same as the highest grossing movies. Last time I checked most of the most critically acclaimed shows usually have low ratings, because they are not appreciated on a wide scale, just like hockey. For the record, if you have any sort of legit cable provider or satellite, you can order NHL Center Ice. For about $150 bucks, you can pretty much see every game every night. It boils down to less than a dollar a day for the season. Shit, a nice chunk of the country even has access to the NHL Network as well. And if you haven't figured out how to use the guide feature on your remote control by now, or if you still have "basic" cable, well what channel hockey is on is the least of your concerns my friend.

Finally, I love how people rip the NHL because they have teams in Columbus, Nashville, Tampa Bay, and San Jose. First off, San Jose and Columbus have been two of the best markets for hockey since their inception. Ohio is a great state with a lot of hockey, and with Columbus only having the buckeyes, that team has fit in really well. They sell out nearly all games, and they have done all of this while suffering through 6 losing seasons. When the Blue Jackets get good, watch out. San Jose as well has been a rousing success story. Sure, there are a couple teams with issues, but what league doesn't have those?

We do not need all these casual fans to jump on the bandwagon to know our sport is awesome. We are a family of fans, and we would like to keep it that way, at least I would!

Monday, October 15, 2007

THE Attempted Sodomy of a Minor

Being a former student in Ohio, I kinda have a friendly rivalry with Ohio State University and it's rabid fans. So, naturally I couldn't help but chuckle when I settled down to a nice episode of To Catch a Predator the other night, and saw that they were doing a sting in rural Greenville, Ohio, near the Indiana border. Apparently, this episode is from 2006, but I had not seen it yet. I checked all my To Catch a Predator DVD's, even the bootlegs, and it wasn't on any of them. So, I guess I just missed it somehow.

I personally wanted to see how long it would take until the first dude with an Ohio State University hat or shirt walked in the house, and as expected, it wasn't very long. Ol' boy with the mustache walked in about 10 minutes later, and the comedy ensued. Apparently, being number one in the polls isn't enough for these guys.
Here is the link if you care ....
Hang on Sloopy, I am about to come ... over